Gratitude

Chicken satay is not delicious anymore, nor rice-beef porridge, not also cakes, nothing. It is only your kiss that I taste is still delicious, told my husband. I laughed nervously. Tried to hold back my tears. I know, I taste your kiss is also delicious, I replied.

My husband started to lose appetite since a week ago. Yesterday, he asked me to make Mie Nyemek (a Javanese style of noodle soup with spicy and savoury broth). After 6 spoons, he asked me to stop feeding him and wanted sweet hot tea. Today, he didn’t eat anything, he consumed only liquid, fruit flavour popsicles and glasses of sweet hot tea. Sometimes, I offered him nutrient milk (for cancer patient), but I don’t think he really like its taste.

Two days ago, again, I cried in distress as my husband slept hours and hours very soundly, it just reminded of his condition in the hospital last month. The cycle was always like, my husband would be in agonizing pain, couldn’t sleep for days, then sleep for more than 12 hours like a baby. When he was sleeping I would insist him to have water or liquid in take. Sometimes, he refused and told me, he just wanted to sleep. But, other time, he would drink the water or hot tea. Using a straw.

In this difficult time, I still always try to count my blessings. That’s very important, keep counting our blessings in spite of the fact, things in life are going not in our preferences. When you’re in happiness, it will be easy peasy to thank your blessing. But, how about when you have two daughters, 12 and 14 years and your husband is having a terminal illness that human-logical will not long survive? Will you (still) be able to count your blessing?

I will give it a try. I feel my gratitude because our daughters are doing great in school and adapt well with their father’s condition. They become independent and will be tough woman, I’m sure. Moreover, I have time to take care my husband and express my love for him.

These photos were taken last February in my daughters tooth filling ceremony (mepandes or metatah). An important religious ceremony for the Bali Hindus that is done when a girl or boy has entered their puberty. Again, I feel my gratitude because my husband has got the chance to see and celebrate our daughters’ beautiful religious ceremony.

Learning to accept God’s plan

 

I stared at my laptop, had no idea what to write, words seemed jumbled in my brain. But, I wanted to write. It’s almost a year since my last blog updated. Many things happened. Slowly but sure, the cancer consumed my husband’s body and spirit. It was started with the pain he experiences, that he tried to fight by having painkiller pill and kept increasing the dosage. Until the painkiller also kill my husband’s appetite. He then stopped being a vegetarian, did not want to drink any juice (fruits or vegetables), including the carrot juice. He asked for sweet things (tea with white sugar, ice cream, cakes). Probably, because that kind of food is tasted better in his palate than healthy food. If you remember about my previous posts about his cancer, you will understand those sweet things are actually feeding his cancer. After two years never been hospitalized, since August to October, he has been in hospital 3 times, because of his HB was too low (lower than 9) and he has to be transfused. The last one was the worse, he vomited black liquid as well black feces. When the paramedic had to move him from his bed to the ambulance bed, he lost his consciousness. I saw it. My daughters saw it, they hugged each other seeing their father like that. We burst in tears, it was awful. When the paramedic put the oxygen, he regained his consciousness and could communicate that the oxygen mask was way too tied. In the hospital, they examined my husband and told us he has chronic ulcus pepticum. It happened for long, the blood has turned his vomit and feces black. In his second day in the hospital, my husband slept so well for almost 24 hours, he did not move, he did not want to eat or drink, he just slept. But, when we asked him something to keep him alert, he could answer us logically, then went back to sleep (too) soundly. The nurses calmed me and said, he just tired. But, it did not calm me, later in the evening, my mind took me to the efforts we had made to fight his advanced cancer. Used ECCT blanket, took Chinese medicine, drank a lot carrot juice, becomes vegetarian, avoid sugar, fine white flour, white rice, eat brown rice, eat fresh fruit. I started to find mistakes, may be because he did not eat fresh vegetable, he just like cooked vegetables, why could not he resisted himself to take more and more painkiller pills, why was I did not more care about how much dosage he had take in the evening when he could not sleep. He has collections of painkillers: Oxyneo, Arcoxia, Tramal, Durogesic patch, or Xanax (for helping him to sleep, but it did not work so well that he kept awake all night long). We have planned the cures for his advanced cancer (prostate that has already metastasized to the bones) naturally. But, it did not work very well. Everything went on NOT in our plan. We wanted my husband to be cured from cancer, but his health is dropping slowly. Every month he lost his life quality, difficult to walk, difficult to stand up, difficult to sit and then, he just laid in bed, could not move, because it was too painful to move. And from the USG, they found that my husband’s liver has swollen because there are multiple nodes there and his bile is hardened. His cancer has metastasized. I did not ask the doctor what they can do with that and he did not offer anything to do as well. We are already in a situation of ‘there’s nothing we can do more but accept it’. But, do I really able to accept it? That second night. I was alone only with my husband in the hospital room. Every time I touched his hand or body, it was cold, and suddenly I felt scared and very lonely. It just like, how can I live without him, how can I raise our young daughters? When it became to hard to handle, I called my mother, crying uncontrollably and told her I am scared and I am not ready if he ever left me. My mother told me as any wise woman would, you should let him, release him, he has suffered for long. Tell him, you will always love him, take care and raise your daughters until they can live on their own. Pray for the best for him. Only for the best, she told me. Her advice hit my mind. I used to say, I trust in God. How deep is my trust in God, especially when sadness happens? Our plan is probably different with God’s plan. And what I must believe is God’s plan will always be the best for His creations. He created us, certainly we must not misjudge His plan for His creations. Around 2 am my husband woke and I started to talk to him. Telling him how much I love him, that he should not worry leaving us in this world. I can raise and take care our daughters. Properly. Until they can stand on their own feet. My husband reaction was: What? They cannot cure my cancer? I replied: I don’t know, lets talk about the worse (according to our plan). Because you know that, everything happens in God’s plan. Right? My husband nodded, it is just in case. Do you have anything to say to me? He told me to keep being a strong and brave woman. He knows I can take care our daughters. Our conversation was quite normal, my husband then went back to sleep and I also slept. In the morning, coincidentally it was a holiday, I called my daughters (14 and 12 years old) to come to the hospital. And I told my husband to say ‘something’ to them. Again, he gave almost the same words to them, be strong, be brave and take care of your self. And listen to your mother, because she knows what good for you. My husband spent 7 days in the hospital, the bleeding was stop, his HB reached 10,9, and the doctor allowed him to go home. Take care of him at home, he said.

We take care of him at home. I hire nurse for home care, so I can go to work and feel not have to worry because a professional is caring him meanwhile I am not home. My husband still feel the agony pain, taking painkiller routinely, have fish Belida extract (to give protein needs). He eats in very moderate portion, the doctor said because his swollen liver has pushed his stomach that he feels full easily. He eats chicken satay and rice cake for his meals (because this food is the only he can enjoy), have orange (the only fruit he can enjoy, sweet and sour at the same time), Japanese style cotton cake (the only cake he can enjoy, because it is kind of soft and easy to be chewed). My daughters adapt quite well with their father’s condition. My second daughter (Ami, aged 12), even, has night shift to take care her father when she has a holiday the day after. We are learning to accept God’s plan for our life. It will not easy, I know. But. We are learning.

Tipat Cantok (Balinese Rice Cake Salad). Vegan Recipe.

Tipat or ketupat (Indonesian language) is boiled rice cake and Cantok means to combine. This kind of food becomes a big hit in our family, to alternate the choice of vegan food we eat. Consists of tipat/ rice cake, fresh vegetable, fried tempe and tahu (firm tofu) with spicy grounded peanut dressing, and-I almost forgot- ended with sprinkled fried shallot on top. What’s can go wrong with that? I will let you digest my question in your brain, before you arrive in the respond of: nothing. Right. Nothing can go wrong with this delicious, healthy, homey and spicy-nutty local food. Where part of local? Bali. We are still talking in my area, Bali island, Indonesia.

For the main ingredient:

Tipat (rice cake) which I made of combination of brown-rice and mentik wangi (white rice that is organic and when cooked, it smelled so nice resembles to pandanus leaves), fried tempe and tahu (firm tofu) and fresh vegetable. Usually, they use boiled sprouted mung bean and fresh cucumber. But, I want to take the full benefit of enzyme from raw food, so I choose the kind of leafy vegetable, as it is not just healthier but also it will give the crunchy texture.

Peanut Dressing:

Toasted peanut and cashew (you can also deep fry them), fried garlic (or raw-your choice), bird eye chillies (we love it), brown sugar, salt, and kecap (Indonesian sweet, dark and thick soy sauce), some water and kaffir lime/ calamansi.

Grind the ingredient for peanut dressing except kecap and the lime. You can use a blender or food processor, but I prefer my stone ulekan (Indonesian pestle). Blender and pestle will surely give different texture to the dressing. Add some water into the thickness you desire. Add kecap.

Toss all main ingredient, squeeze some kaffir lime and combine (cantok) them all. Serve on a plate, sprinkle with fried shallot. My first daughter, loves a lot fried shallot to be sprinkled. And enjoy with crackers (first photo, showing crackers made of organic brown rice). It should use petis (shrimp paste), but I don’t. And it tastes all OK. My daughters who are not vegan as they still enjoy to be carnivore, but with Tipat Cantok, I can tell you, they will absolutely clean their plate without missing a bit of meat.

Still keep our faith. Dealing with cancer (2).

How long I haven’t seen you? My last post was November 2016. So. it was like five months and twenty years ago. Nothing much happened. My husband is still facing (struggling with) his prostate advanced cancer or I should say all of the family are all still facing (the impact of) the disease. Me as his wife and our two daughters. It almost 2 years after the doctors found my husband has got cancer and it has spread to his bone, probably also to his bone marrow as he had experienced blood problem in September and October 2015. It does hard. Cancer is not just weakening your body, it is eating also your mind. There were times when I saw my husband crying and whispered, ‘can I survive?’ which I replied ‘Yes. If you think you can, then you will.’ Am I lying? Of course not. Cancer is not identical with death. We cannot predict death. Even not the doctors. My husband still do all the herbal and alternative medicine. And he has stopped completely the hormonal therapy (Casodex pill and Tapros injection), after a serious debate with me. I saw him very weak, even he couldn’t went upstair to our house’s second floor, the way he walked like he would fell to the ground in any second. He even can’t go to work for 5 months, he felt so weak. It made me think, something has gone wrong here. So, we decided to stop the hormonal therapy. We will go for the herbal/natural (Chinese medicine that is made in Bandung, Indonesia) and alternative treatment for cancer only. He has stopped the hormonal therapy for 2 months, now. And I don’t think he missed the medicine.

There is something new to his food, for breakfast he has fruits and fruit juice only, at 12.00 or 1.00 pm he will have vegan lunch and a bowl of salad without any dressing, the same goes for his dinner. I visit often a Facebook Group called Food Combining Indonesia where I see many cancer survivors after they dedicated their way of eating (and life) by eating fresh food as much as possible. Fresh fruits (better what comes in season), fresh vegetables (I choose neutral and crunchy taste, like: Lettuce, Lollo Rossa, Romaine, Ruckola-I can’t say it has neutral taste, but my husband eat it anyway), Tomatoes, Cucumber and Beetroot. He eats them without any dressing, I have told you that? Sorry. I was just trying to emphasise how strong my husband’s effort to survive from cancer. He said, if they survive from cancer because they eat fresh food along with their (chosen) treatment, then I will eat it, too. Just FYI, he was a pure carnivore before the cancer was diagnosed and he has changed his way of eating into vegan for 2 years, including avoid sugar and refined flour). To support him that he doesn’t feel alone, I have become a vegetarian (not a Vegan, yet, because I still eat eggs here and there, like (in bread or cakes) for 6 months, now. And I follow the way eating of Food Combining, too. The bonus is I have lost 5 kgs! Not to mention that my skin looks clearer for the result of drinking carrot juice one glass every day.

Since, I always try to provide organic food to my husband (and family), I have my red rice sent from Jogjakarta as the store I used to visit has difficulties in providing the product we like. You know, last time I phoned the organic food store in Sanur, they told me that the farmers couldn’t harvest their product, it failed, thanks to the rainy season. So that, I decided to find another source and found that online order from Jogjakarta and sent the product by cargo can help our commitment to live a healthier life. Other than rice, I order Sago (palm starch) noodles, cassava (Mie Lethek) noodles and organic kecap (Indonesian Sweet Soy Sauce). Meanwhile for the vegetables, I have just found a supplier that is located not so far from my office, her farm is in Plaga (Badung regency), about 16 kilometres from Denpasar city (where I live). I just have to WA her and ask what vegetable I want and the day after I can pick it up on my way home. Life. Is. Good. Isnt’t it?

What impact this brings to my husband? For a person with advanced prostate cancer that has spread to the bones, he still walks, eats with the palate/ sense of taste of normal people, takes a bath, by himself. Way you go, Mr. Husband. Keep your faith. I and our daughters will always support you to face your cancer, a disease that has made us even stronger not just as a person but also as a family.

Our crystal anniversary.

Today, the 16th November is our Crystal Anniversary, the 15th years of marriage. This year is for the first time we celebrate the day. We never done it before. A month ago, our first daughter had a look to our wedding ceremony album and suddenly she said: Aji (father) and Ibu (mother), you should celebrate your wedding day. OK, we said. My husband told me to order a cake, but I thought it would be too ‘western style’, to make it Indonesian,  I suggested: I think I will order a Tumpeng Nasi Kuning (A cone shaped yellow rice dish). OK, my daughters said. As long as it is food. No problem. At all.

The philosophy of Tumpeng is related to the Indonesian geography with numerous mountains and volcanos. In the ancient Indonesian tradition, mountains were believed a holly place for the spirit of ancestors and gods. The cone-shaped rice symbolizes the holy mountain. The dish is made from turmeric coloured steamed rice that is surrounded with many kind of assorted Indonesian dishes, like fried chicken, perkedel kentang (potato cakes), sweet-spicy tempe, sayur urap (Indonesian vegetable salad), fried noodle, quail eggs, and more other delicious food like rendang. To make it even more beautiful, the dish was decorated with vegetables.

Fence is made from woven long beans, many flowers made from tomato, carrot, red chillies, and cucumbers. The dishes represents the numerous things our Mother Nature gives us with mountain as the centre from where the holly spirits and Gods gives us their blessing. Tumpeng is a symbol of gratitude as well as connection of Gods and human being. The tumpeng is put on tampah (woven bamboo container, covered with banana leaves). As you see, even the banana leave is shaped into artistic triangles.

15 years of marriage is still young. And we do hope, we will always stick together as family. Embrace the happy moments as well as endure the difficult times.

Late post to join DP Prompt: Together.

Happy Birthday, Handsome!

Today is 20th September, my husband’s birthday. He is a Virgo, a suitable match for a Taurus (who is coincidentally me!). We just had simple dinner party at a seafood restaurant about 15 minutes from our house. We love this restaurant, but then never came by for more than a year, after my husband was diagnosed with prostate advanced cancer (that has metastasized to the bones). But, this evening we came again to the restaurant, ordered the usual menu we always have, a grilled grouper, squids, clams, and Balinese salad (mixed vegetable with spicy shredded coconut sauce). What made it different we ordered also grilled firm tofu and tempe. And pure carrot juice. For my husband. Right. He is still a dedicated vegan because of his cancer. After his last Bone Scan (in July 2016), he never done his PSA test anymore. We know that he is not cancer free yet, but we should always feel grateful that he is still able to do the ordinary activities. I mean, he can walk, eats, takes a bath, drive, takes our daughters to the school, does light exercise. By himself. For a cancer patient, it is called he has still a good quality of life. A quality that can only be achieved with struggle, persistence, sacrifice, faith and family love. Again. We do feel grateful for that.

Posted to DP Prompt: Together.

Deep fried fish with sambal bawang

Sometime ago, I got fishes. Actually, those fishes were bartered ‘item’ since I had made 5 pages of speech for a tuna conference that was held in Bali. I wrote 5 of horizontally folded papers (US Legal size), not a long complicated speech, but only a warm welcome speech to the audiences that were mostly foreign friends. But, still, they sent a small box consisted of these 5 beautiful fishes. My colleagues told me those fishes must be fresh, delicious, and good quality kind because they sent me ‘the exported kind’. You’re so lucky, she said, they gave you a bonus for your works.

It reminded me something, I made speech for tuna conference and they sent me some of their product. I ever made welcome speech for waste management meeting in Bali. Thanks God, they didn’t send me any samples. I planned to make deep fried fish and simple Sambal Bawang (literally translated as Shallot Sambal)

On weekend, I clean the whole fish, scraped off their scales using fork and got rid off the entrails (pretty easily), and cut the whole fish into parts.

I will write the whole (not really) simple process for you).

Ingredients:

1 about 500 grams whole fish (snapper or grouper)

Coconut oil for deep frying (you can also use rice bran oil)

Spice for rubbing the raw fish, grind all into paste:

½ tablespoon of coriander

1 cm of turmeric

2 cloves of garlic

1 teaspoon of salt

½ teaspoon of sugar

Juice of 1 calamansi or 1 tablespoon of lemon juice

Sambal Bawang:

2 shallots (peeled it and cut roughly)

11 eyebird chilies (half into two)

½ teaspoon of salt

¼ teaspoon of sugar

Juice of 1 lime juice

hot oil (preferably, oil that has been used to fry the fish)

How to make it:

1. Rub the fish with the paste, put in the fridge for about 15 minutes (or you can fry it right away). I like to do that, because it will give the fish time to absorb the spice into their tender flesh).
2. Deep-fry it until it is golden brown outside. Strain the fish or put the cuts onto kitchen papers.
3. Make the ‘sambal’. I have adopted some of friend’s and family’s advice of making sambal. First, always crush all ingredients together, all at once, don’t crush it one by one, like, first the shallots, second, the chilies. No, not like that. Crush it all at once (get all your emotion out in the process). One advice that is most likely a myth (but I follow it, though), in making good sambal, the amount of eyebird chilies should always be odd number of amount, like 3, 5, 7, 9 and so on (sorry, I didn’t begin with 1. For chilies in sambal, 1 is almost none for me).
4. Deep-fry the shallot and eye bird chilies in the heated oil until wilt (not too long, half cooked, may be about 30 seconds in the process).
5. Put them in the stone mortar along with salt, sugar. Crush it all at once, but not into a paste, just roughly crush it. Then, pour 2 tablespoon of hot oil to crushed sambal (you will hear a sizzling sounds). Move the sambal to saucer and squeeze the fresh lime juice over it.
6. Serve the deep fried fish with rice, sliced cucumber and sambal bawang.
7. Yum! Selamat Makan! Happy eating!

My Bali morning

These pictures were taken awhile ago when Bali was still in the rain season. The rain has just stopped fallen when the sun rose. Somehow, it created a view I like, gloomy, calming and beautiful. As you see. So, I grabbed my iPhone and snapped some pictures.

Hugo (the dog) enjoyed himself walking around the wet garden.

Pictures were taken at home, using iPhone 5S.

Posted to DP Photo Challenge: Morning.

Meet our hero: DR. Warsito

So, my husband had got his 2^nd bone scan and one day after (27^th July 2016) we went to C-Care, Tangerang to meet DR. Warsito, an Indonesian (from Solo, Central Java exactly) scientist who invented ECCT (Electro Capacitive Cancer Therapy). My husband has used ECCT blanket for nine months (since October 2015). Actually, he got the blanket in June (2015), using it for two months (June to August 2015). Then, he suffered blood trouble, hospitalized and must be transfused for the lack of blood coagulant (September 2015), blamed the ECCT blanket for that, stopped using the blanket for a month, but in October 2015, the blood trouble came back and hospitalized again (also for the lack of blood coagulant). His blood trouble was not caused by ECCT blanket, it was caused by the cancer (advanced prostate cancer that has spread to the bones). Then, it opened my husband’s heart door to ECCT blanket. Completely.

Some of ECCT tools: vest, shorts, and helmet. It can be made according to a person’s needs.

My husband had tried some alternative therapy since he was diagnosed with cancer (eating cassava, drink mistletoe tea, white turmeric tea, and Soursop leaves tea). However, it is quite difficult to eat a lot of cassava, moreover I could not find enough and new references of cassava can cure prostate cancer (from the internet), then, he stopped eating after 1 month trial. Meanwhile, the other ingredients (mistletoe, white turmeric and Soursop leaves) are very difficult to find in the land of Denpasar city. Since my husband’s cancer is already spread almost everywhere of his upper body (you can go to this post to see his bone scan), any therapy he will do should be easily got, practical to be used and don’t give any painful to his body. He is already in pain for cancer, why should we choose a or more methods to make it more painful? A good therapy should ease my husband pain, improve his life quality and has big possibility to clean my husband’s body from cancer cells. For those reason, right after he went back home from the hospital, he started to use the ECCT blanket and collar. Faithfully. Along with the other alternative therapy (Chinese herbal capsules 30/ day, pure carrot juice 5 cups/ day). He also have therapy hormonal (Tapros and Casodex, although I don’t really agree with the decision). But, my husband insisted to have it, in spite of the fact he felt fatigue and suffer light dizziness, having a fast decreasing PSA, gave him a certain satisfactory). Of course, any therapy will never work well without efforts and sacrifice and love (from family) and patience and faith. He changed his diet completely, becomes a vegan, eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, brown rice, and drink soy milk. One thing he could not stop is fried peanuts, that in every meal he always added 1 tablespoon of garlicky fried peanuts.

Well…I have gone too far. What was my post’s actual topic? Right. About meeting DR. Warsito in C-Care, Tangerang.

The taxi hit the street around 06.30 WIB, early in the morning, as we didn’t want to face the busy and traffic jam of Jakarta city. We went to C-Care Riset Kanker, Tangerang, jl. Jalur Sutera Kavling Spektra 23BC No.10-12, Alam Sutera, Tangerang. From Sudirman street, Jakarta to C-Care needs about 45 minutes. The place was not opened yet, but a security was on duty. We had to wait before the official hour began, 08.00 WIB. Two other patients had arrived before us. I said to my husband, “I always thought that we will be the first arriving here, but we are not,” that he replied with “they are earlier to wake then us.” But, it doesn’t matter. We are already there, to have my husband’s ECCT blanket fixed, checked the other tools and hopefully to get an ECCT shorts. My husband was patient number 3.

Row of cancer survivors pictures.

Row of cancer survivors pictures with their medical data.

“Hello, bapak Anom. How are you?” A young physician greeted us cheerfully, “Observing your latest bone scan, it shows good improvement, except around the hips area. It seems, the ECCT blanket’s coverage was not maximal in that area. I’ll suggest an ECCT shorts to eradicate the cancer cells there.” Then, he told about the prostate size that has shrunk from 5,29 cm to 3,49 cm. Another significant improvement. My husband told him that he is also doing hormonal therapy, he replied with, “No way it can kill the cancer cells in your bone, it does decrease your PSA number. But, to kill the cancer cells in your bone? No way.” We already knew it. My husband asked him again, “What do you think, can I continue my hormonal therapy? He gave an answer my husband wanted, “Yes, you can.” That I didn’t like.

Then, my husband got himself measured for the shorts and we waited meanwhile they check and prepared the tools for him. We were waiting also for DR. Warsito as I had contacted him by WhatsApp couple weeks ago and made an appointment. My husband wanted to take a picture with DR. Warsito, his life hero and discussed one or two things about his cancers. We had no idea when he arrived in the office, as we already saw him talked to one of his patients in the fitting room, a woman who has got breast cancers. I usually saw him in the internet photos and he is just looked like as his patients describes in the internet’s articles. A friendly, warm-hearted and caring person. But, DR. Warsito is much more than that. He is an Indonesian scientist who invented ECCT (Electro Capacitive Cancer Therapy) in 2011, a method for treating cancer using low intensity and low frequency source. One of the prominent characteristics of cancer cell is its uncontrolled cell division, the ECCT is basically the technique to generate such electric field surround the cancer location and interfere the process of cell division and eventually destroy the cancer cells. Although DR. Warsito’s invention, has helped many, many people with cancers but on the other hand, it has triggered a controversial issues with the medical sectors. Even, the Health ministry of the Republic of Indonesia almost made his office closed until the Research and Technology Ministry defended and supported him. Also people with cancer who are survived because they use ECCT tools, they appealed to the Government to not close his office. So, now, C-Care should work hand in hand with the (only a few) hospitals to treat people with cancers.

“He is sitting there,” My husband told me. DR. Warsito was sitting behind the administration desk, so we were walking towards him and greeted him. My husband introduced himself and telling him about the improving condition. He checked my husband’s file from the computer, as we heard his soft voice and easy to be understood explanation. And I interrupted, “Can I take a photo?” He asked back, “What photo?” He didn’t realize how my husband really wanted to take a photo with him. “You, of course, with my husband.”

“Oh…OK.” Click. Nice photo. And very charming smile of DR. Warsito.

My husband asked again about the hormonal therapy, but this time he got the answer, “You can stop the hormonal therapy.” I like the answer. I never agree with my husband’s decision of doing this kind of therapy anyway.

We expressed our (very) thankfulness to him and went back to the hotel. My husband looked happy, he was given a new blanket, his collar was made bigger (so it doesn’t choke him anymore), new ECCT shorts, every tools has been checked and OK, last but not least, he has got also a nice photo with his hero, DR. Warsito.

Before I end my post, I want to tell you that I am not an expert in medical nor electrical engineering matters. I am only a wife of a man who has got advanced prostate cancer that has spread to the bones. Whatever I have written in this post are based on my own idea, googling (using the term ‘research’ will be too dramatic), and experience. I am not in any intention of telling you that the other cancer therapies are not good. Life is about choosing. Every person with cancer can and should choose any cancer therapy he or she comforts to deal with.

My husband’s 2nd bone scan

I just got back from Jakarta yesterday, after spending 4 days accompanied my husband to have his 2^nd bone scan test and got his ECCT blanket repaired. It is the month of July. Last year (2015), this month brought an ugly truth to us, we found the fact that my husband has got prostate cancer that has already spread to his bones: hips, back bones, ribs, shoulders, and his neck. Would the same month (of 2016) also bring inconvenient news to us? On 26^th July 2016 we went to Rumah Sakit Pertamina Pusat at jalan Kyai Maja quite early in the morning as we didn’t want to face trouble with the busy and crowded streets of Jakarta city. We arrived in the hospital around 7 am and the medical nuclear installation was not opened yet.

Waiting for the bone scan

So we just put the Bali doctor’s referral at the registration desk and waited. At 08.00 am, they opened, after observed my husband’s documents, a doctor injected him with a tiny amount of radioactive substance. And we waited another two hours. At 10.00 am, my husband entered the test room and had his bone scanned. I felt a bit (only a bit) uneasy and nervous. What would the truth? Ugly or nice?

After the scanning, we waited another 30 minutes for the report and finally…the doctor called us.

“The test result is good”, she said cheerfully and added…”I’m happy to see such result. Look…” She opened the last year bone scan folder. “We can see black spots scattered around your bones, here, here, here…so many black spots.” And then she opened the new one. “This test has shown improvement, amazing one, some of the black spots were washed off, some are gone, although here (she pointed the hips area), it becomes thickened.” I became alerted. Thickened. Thickened. Why the other areas are improved and the hips area is thickened? The lady doctor read my face. As she said, “We should be thankful. Always be thankful. Bapak Anom, just keep doing your therapy, it has worked well with your body. Whatever it is the therapy.”

Last Bone Scan Result (2015)

New Bone Scan Result (2016)

Of course. I felt ashamed of myself. Be thankful.

On the way back to our hotel, my husband said: “I’m happy with result. After 9 months of effectively used ECCT blanket, it has proved that it works well with bone cancer, but probably I should be given ECCT shorts, too. So it can eradicate cancer in my hips more effectively”. I responded his words, “I know. I have the exact same idea with you. I hope tomorrow, after DR. Warsito in CCare see the new bone scan, he will give you ECCT shorts.”

At the hotel (the same hotel of last year). I opened my iPad, saw the pictures I took when my husband was hospitalized for blood trouble, when his PSA hit 1500-s, when a small wound in his upper lips keep bleeding and can only be stopped by blood transfusion up to 10 bags, when the doctor frantically told my husband to have chemotherapy (but we frantically refused it, too), when we did not really know what path we should choose to deal with my husband’s cancer. An advanced prostate cancer that has spread to the bone. I took these pictures in October 2015.

Severely bruised because of the blood trouble

The bruises were around the upper and lower body

I will tell you again the alternative therapies for cancer my husband has done not because I want to promote sales any of the following items, it is purely just because I want to share my husband’s tough effort of dealing with his advanced cancer. My husband using ECCT blanket 8 hours/ day (he should have 2 days off, but he just skip it, so he uses it almost everyday), pure carrot juice 5 cups/ day, Chinese herbal capsules 30/ day, high dose of vitamin C for stamina (injected once a week by his niece). My husband who was a real carnivore and had a sweet tooth (he usually added 3 full tablespoons of sugars to a 250 ml of tea), since October 2015 becomes a vegan, avoids refined flour, preserved food and sugars. For almost a year now, he still does what he started 9 months ago and although it is not easy (well, what is easy when it comes with cancer?). But really, see my husband’s much improving health, it is impossible to not feel thankful.

The next post will be about our meeting with DR. Warsito, the Indonesian scientist who invented ECCT (Electro Capacitive Cancer Treatment) that can be used for cancer therapy and kill the cancer cell.