See those pictures, make me feel blessed. He looks fine and healthy. He could still do activities like people with no cancer. When someone is not informed that my husband has an advanced prostate cancer, one would not know by his appearance only. Today, he did his monthly PSA test. Last week, it was 57,18, rose from 44, 52 (he stopped taking Casodex, the hormonal therapy pills since two months ago). Before went to the lab this morning, he was sure his PSA would rise again. And I got this prayer in my head, let his PSA down, as it will make him feel better and embrace still his faith to our alternative treatment. My prayer was answered. His PSA was down to 33,85. But, his cholesterol is very high, no wonder, he eats fried food every day, fried firm tofu, fried peanuts, fried crackers. Before got cancer, he worshipped meat very much, he was a carnivore. I know that eating too much deep fried food is not healthy, but I tried to understand switching an old habit that already existed for decades is not easy. So, I let him eating deep fried food, even I made them for him. However, you are what you eat, his cholesterol is the result of what he is consuming, that’s the point. My husband then told me, stop frying the tofu, just boiling it. And I added, no fried peanuts and crackers of course. Yes, he replied beyond question. It has been 5 months since my husband started his alternative cancer treatment, he did not do any biopsy from the very first time, no surgery, no chemo, no radiation, was in hormonal therapy for 3 months, then stopped it doubtfully (by a lot threats from me, like: don’t blame me if you have got osteoporosis, severely feel weakness, dizzy, possibly got heart attack, your muscle will shrink, your bones will shrink, your body will shrink), I know, I am a fierce wife. I remember, what his hematologist told us when I enquired him about the side effect of the hormonal therapy. Nothing, he said, only fatigue. Then I insisted: tell me that I am wrong, from internet I read that hormonal therapy can cause osteoporosis, wouldn’t it be dangerous for my husband. And he looked at me uneasy and said: ibu, we are doctors do our job by priority, which one is more important right the moment, it is eliminating your husband’s cancer. Leaving the hospital, I kept thinking: will it really cure my husband cancer? What if he could not walk and has to be moved around on a wheelchair? And didn’t the hematologist said if this hormonal therapy did not work, we will continue to chemotherapy treatment. Well. Chemo. I have seen my own older sister painfully died, she had left her Chinese traditional medicine and chosen chemo. My husband consumes the very same Chinese traditional medicine as my older sister (although in 1990-s, we still had to boil the herbal medicine before drinking it like tea. Now, it is much more practical and easy as they have already transformed it into capsules). I become fierce towards my husband cancer treatment, as it is very tricky, we are doing alternative treatment that many people underestimated it. Alternative treatment that much less popular than chemo or radiation or hormonal therapy (read: conventional treatment). I didn’t swallow every information we got thoroughly, even when it was told by my husband’s hematologist. Sorry, Doc. But, patient and their family has got the right to know details about any treatment/ medicine their taking. We have to be well informed about any treatment we want to do. Curing cancer will never be an easy thing to do. It does need sacrifice, persistence, and faith. Keep your faith that every effort (even when it is very hard to do) will be worth and reveals beauty in time.